Eos
by Anton M
Summary: During their visit to Pemberley, Mr. Gardiner implies to Mr. Darcy that Elizabeth is to have an understanding with another man. Probably a three-shot. OOC, AU, HEA
1. I

**Disclaimer** : _Pride and Prejudice_ was written by Jane Austen. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Summary:** During their visit to Pemberley, Mr. Gardiner implies to Mr. Darcy that Elizabeth is to have an understanding with another man. Probably a three-shot. OOC, AU, HEA

: :

 **Eos  
** by Anton M.

 **I**

 _August 6, 1812_

Dawn had yet to break when Darcy walked in the open stable doors to find his mare missing. The fate had befallen him for the second night in a row, but today, unlike yesterday, he found that the horse could not be replaced by another. It was unlike his Eos to escape, but Darcy lacked the focus to be angry. He would have a word with the stable boy, later, to make sure that the stable doors would be securely locked for the night.

He hadn't slept. Anxious to work off his restless energy, he decided to walk in the absence of his mare. Was it not Elizabeth's favourite activity? He found selfish comfort in the thought. Untamed alders, black poplars and sessile oaks replaced the hornbeam hedges around Pemberley, and he cared little for the dewdrops on the blades of grass that dampened his clothes when he turned away from the road. He had no aim. Nothing in the world could have diverted his mind away from Mr. Gardiner's disclosure during yesterday's lunch.

In the four months it took for Darcy to work on improving his character, a gentleman under the name of Mr. Mortimer had, apparently, set his attentions on Elizabeth. Darcy had not had much hope that Elizabeth would grow to hold him dear— _had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner,_ how the words plagued him—but seeing her again, knowing her affections to be directed at a man more worthy of her, it was too much to bear. How could he look her in the eyes, those serene, teasing, beautiful eyes that haunted him day or night, and wish her joy in her upcoming nuptials? Yet, he must. He must overcome his jealousy, wistfulness, and desire to fall on his knees before her and beg her to forgive him. He must. He must try to forget the dire future that would await him with no Elizabeth in it.

Wild grain tickled the palms of his hands when he shut his eyes on the edge of a field. In an hour, the meadow would showcase the loveliest of sunrises, and what he would give to share it with Elizabeth. But it was not to be. How could he have veered off the road so confidently? How could he have proposed to the only woman he'd ever love using the words he did? In offending her dearest relations and expressing his desire to overcome his affections rather than rejoice in them, he had thrown away his only chance at happiness. Was this to be his punishment, to work hard to be worthy of her only to see her fall in love with another? Darcy took a shuddering breath when pain gripped him. It felt gnawing, visceral. He felt he could drown in the depth of it.

He was not to marry. He must find a way to remain acquainted with the Bennet family, to always take care of Elizabeth without her knowledge. If he was not to be her husband, he could at least be the man who might have been her equal if given more time—for he was man enough to admit that he did not deserve her. He would look after Elizabeth and her family. He must find a way to influence Mr. Bennet to consider putting his two or three youngest to school, for were they to be blamed for their silliness if education had been kept from them?

He would entail his estate to Georgiana and her firstborn.

He would work harder than any man ever had to make Elizabeth see, if as a casual acquaintance, that he might have not been worthy of her, but he was a good man on his own account. He would make schools accessible and affordable to all children in Derbyshire, in Lambton and Kympton. He would build a library, for Elizabeth, for she dearly loved to read. He would pay more attention to the peasants, for were they not the heart and soul of his estate? He would learn to express the affection and passion he held for his people, and replace the politeness in his principles with actions and involvement.

Even as hurt run through his veins, Darcy could not regret having known Elizabeth for she had made him see the man he wished to become.

Would he have the heart to continue on his quest to be a better man once he learned that she was to birth a child to her husband? The thought hit him with a wave a nausea, but it would be inevitable. He must wake up, day after day, and dedicate himself to his estate, to his work, to those in need. Like the casual acquaintance he was to be to Elizabeth, he would send a word of congratulations through other people, so that she may understand that he did not wish ill on her family or children. Quite the opposite—in spite of his pain, Darcy wished that, above all else, life would treat Elizabeth well. If he was to see her once a year, when he visited Bingley and she her sister, he would admire her from afar. He would rejoice in her happiness and find a way to help her with her troubles, and he would learn to do so without being detected.

Hooves beat against soil on the hillside before a silhouette of a rider could be seen galloping on the other side of the meadow. As the horse neared, wisps of long hair became visible, flowing in the wind.

A woman sat astride a horse.

Intrigued but not fit to be seen, Darcy didn't move as the duo slowed down on the other side of the tree he was standing under. It was too dark for the stranger to see his features, or for him to see hers.

The lady hopped off the horse as if she'd been doing so for years, and pet the mare.

"Eos," she whispered, brushing her nose against the horse's face, humming. Darcy's heart beat twice as fiercely, with twice the passion and affection he thought he could feel. It mattered not that her hair, longer than he'd imagined, was left uncovered, that she had sat astride a horse, or that she had taken said horse from his stable. She could have them all for all he cared.

Elizabeth had arrived.


	2. II

: :

 **Eos**  
by Anton M.

 **II**

The low cooing of a wood pigeon interspersed with the chirping of willow warblers, but for Darcy, the sounds felt as distant as the image of Elizabeth. Unable to believe his eyes, he stood, staring and unable to move.

Eos started scratching her side against the bark of the oak as Elizabeth sat on a low branch. She leaned her head against the trunk, observing the horse who, having satisfied her itch, nudged her arm to receive Elizabeth's attention. She caressed her mane.

"Goddess of Dawn," she whispered. "Do you have a sister Selene and a brother Helios? It would be most apt of your Master to name you so."

Darcy knew that he should make himself known or leave her in the solitude she'd sought, but the knowledge that he might never have another opportunity to observe her, uninterrupted, kept him from moving. He'd never seen a more captivating image than that of Elizabeth, stroking his Eos, her hair blowing in the breeze, her voice tender and quiet. Only a few steps, and he could surround her with his arms. But he knew it to be impossible.

"I'm afraid that I upset your Master yesterday. Are you very close to him? Did he tell you what I did? I cannot understand it. In the previous days, he treated me with more care and attention than I deserve, so much so that I grew to hope he'd… but I must have been wrong. He could not even look in my eyes when he left yesterday. I cannot understand what I did, but something made him realise his mistake in being civil to me. He has every reason not to forgive me. I fear I must overcome my desire to receive it."

Darcy's heart ached. He'd already forgiven her for receiving Mr. Mortimer's attentions, if only she would forgive him for proposing in such a manner as to offend her relations and her status in society.

"He did not love me enough to believe me capable of growing to hold him dear. But it is understandable, is it not? I could not have expressed my prejudice in a less civil manner, to a man I now see is loved equally by his servants and his family. He must think me a fool to visit Pemberley. I fear that even if I could find a private audience with him to let him know how my feelings have changed, he might think I only wish to express my feelings because of how affluent I have witnessed his estate to be. And it is—Pemberley so beautiful I can hardly believe it, but it matters not when its owner is the most agreeable gentleman I have ever met. Regardless, I fear your Master has grown out of any affection he held for me. Do you know Miss Cecilia, the lady he intends to court?"

Darcy felt warm and cold before his heart started beating so rapidly that he felt she must be able to hear it. There wasn't a single Cecilia in his acquaintance, and the idea of marrying anyone but Elizabeth was nothing more than ridiculous. Where did she get the idea?

But _of course_.

Miss Cecilia and Mr. Mortimer must've been names from a novel by Frances Burney. Darcy had not read it himself, but his sister enjoyed it tremendously, and he took great pleasure in spending time with her, even if she did wish to discuss the imagined lives of people who had never existed.

Mr. Gardiner, unaware of Darcy's previous, rejected proposal, could not have known that instead of giving Darcy one last push to offer for Elizabeth before the imagined Mr. Mortimer would, the knowledge would instead make him resolute to bury the last evidence of his affection for her.

Wild hope grew in his chest. Could it be? Was it possible that Miss Elizabeth had started to welcome his attentions? Was she not to be married after all?

Determined to go around the tree to walk up to her from her front so as not to scare her, Darcy took a step away from her, but her words made him pause.

"Oh, but how can I wish ill on him, Eos? I do hope Miss Cecilia loves him half as much as I do. She must be an accomplished lady indeed to receive his regard so quickly. He once told me how much thought he put into the idea of an accomplished lady, and he offered for me in spite of it. Now, I dare think he has found a lady he's not ashamed to love."

The hurt in her voice would've brought him to his knees if he was not hanging on to her every word. He had much to apologise for.

"What pains me is that he would have found me objectionable, had we married. I couldn't have kept my fondness for riding as men do from him, or how often I enjoy reading over society. Do you think me foolish to want to tell him how dear I find him now? He successfully grew out of any particular regard for me, but what if I do not? I would like him to know, even if I mean little to him now, how fond I am of him so that he may know me to be capable of the feeling."

She twisted her hair as to stop it from blowing on her face, and brushed her nose against Eos's.

"Would it be easier for him if I left? Yesterday proved that he does not wish for my presence. I cannot imagine a more cruel fate, to find myself in the middle of loving him only to know his affections have turned to a more beautiful, accomplished lady."

Her voice trembled before she paused. Caressing the side of the mare's face, Elizabeth sat, thinking.

"Yes. I must leave before I see further evidence of his regret. I must return you to Andrew."

A low voice got caught in Darcy's throat. Elizabeth, startled, hopped off the branch and landed softly on her feet, hand on Eos's neck. Squinting, she took a step back and paled.

"Mr. Darcy!"

He stepped forward, bowing, struggling to shed himself of the society's politeness even in the middle of a field with no witnesses.

"Miss Elizabeth."

Having paled, Elizabeth now reddened, lowering her head as she waited for his decision. She had taken his horse, and while he was a gentleman, he must've seen the impertinence of the lady who had once received his affections. How happy must he have been to discover what he had avoided.

Mortified, Elizabeth pressed her lips together. His silence scared her, and she tried not think of a punishment for stealing, if temporarily, a horse that belonged to Mr. Darcy.

For how long had he been standing there? Had he heard it all? Should she apologise for having been found with his horse, for having addressed her feelings which might've offended his sensibilities now that he was to court another lady? Should she apologise for her attire, for her hair? For having ridden astride on his horse?

Darcy walked over to her, and Elizabeth, while trembling, did her best not to show it.

"Do you know what the punishment is for stealing a horse?"

Blanching, Elizabeth squeezed her fists together.

"The gallows, sir."

"Do you think such punishment to be just?"

She could not wrap her head around his expression. It was intense, calm, and his eyes were almost _teasing_. Was he rejoicing in her refusal, four months ago?

She held her head high. If he was serious about hanging her, she could not bring Andrew, his stableboy, into this.

"If that is your wish."

Mr. Darcy examined her face before he took a step closer. His voice had a wistful undertone. "Miss Elizabeth," he whispered. "I have no desire to hang you."

She stared at his chest, taking a sharp breath, nodding. "Thank you, sir," she replied. "Pardon me. I have not offered you my felicitations for courting Miss Cecilia. You deserve all the love and happiness a man could wish for."

Her bravery in announcing such wishes contrasted against her trembling voice.

"Do I?"

Avoiding his eyes, she nodded.

"Miss Elizabeth."

She bit her lip, caressing the side of the horse. "You must know, sir, you _must_ , I did not mean to offend you with my feelings. My last wish is for you to feel awkward around me, but I understand if you desire my absence from your life from now on. I apologise for anything I said or did that might have offended you."

"Miss Elizabeth," Mr. Darcy repeated when he couldn't handle the pain her voice. Encouraged by what he heard, he boldly touched her cheek with his fingertips. "There is no Miss Cecilia."


	3. III

: :

 **Eos**  
by Anton M.

 **III**

Elizabeth's eyes fixed on his chest. "I'm sorry, sir, I fear I misheard you."

Aware of the cold fingertips brushing against her cheek, she neither stepped forward nor backtracked. Raising her eyes to meet his, she dared to see spite or mischief in his expression, but he appeared in earnest.

"Such a person has never existed. Did your uncle make you aware of this?"

"My uncle?" she repeated, confused. "No. My aunt did."

"Mr. Gardiner disclosed to me that you are to expect a proposal from a man named Mr. Mortimer."

"Mr.—" Her eyes widened. "But my aunt… sir!"

Her reaction and fondness for reading made further confirmation unnecessary, and Darcy rejoiced in her reluctance to step away from him. Her eyes never left his, and she moved to touch his hand but reconsidered.

Hopeful and filled with disbelief, she whispered, "You are not to marry?"

He felt like he could burst from the love he felt for the woman under his fingertips.

"It appears to me that your relations intended to speed up my decision with this lie, and they would have, had my offer to you in April not been so wholly inadequate."

Her lips twisted as she retreated against Eos. "You need not apologise for not wishing to offer for me twice, sir. I quite understand."

Confused and feeling the loss of her proximity, Darcy frowned. "You… understand?"

She pressed her lips together, stroking the side of his horse. "You need not elaborate, sir. You have discovered me today from the unacceptable position of riding astride your horse. I am sure that whatever inkling of affection you might have held for me must've been replaced by gratitude for my refusal. Any apologies that should be voiced are all mine."

She curtsied, and in a flash of brown hair, turned around and started walking away. Eos, lifting his head to look at his master as if in disapproval, shook his head before trotting after Elizabeth.

In a daze, Darcy jogged after his horse and the woman he hoped to marry. Had he unintentionally insulted her? He did not understand.

"But you love me," he said once he was close enough for her to hear him. She halted to a stop, head held high but eyes avoiding his.

"I apologise if that offends you. I will be grateful for your discretion on the matter."

The determination and pain in her voice made his heart ache. Did she believe his feelings to be so transient as to buckle under the slightest pressure?

"Please, Miss Elizabeth, you misunderstand. I only ask for a moment of your time, and if you still wish for my absence, I will never mention this again."

Judging by the way she nudged Elizabeth's shoulder, Eos, too, had chosen a side in this conversation. Elizabeth's hair flew in the wind as she caressed his horse, pressing her lips together and, briefly, held Darcy's eyes. She nodded. He did not dare move closer than three feet from her.

"I love you," he said, voice low and filled with suppressed emotion. "Most ardently. I cannot imagine a life with anyone but you."

Her eyes, those sharp, twinkling, beautiful eyes, snapped in his.

"But sir! You cannot."

Carefully, he replied, "I believe myself capable of understanding my own heart, Miss Elizabeth."

Hesitating but no longer avoiding his towering presence, the woman in question took a step closer to him. She clutched her hands in front of her to keep herself from reaching out.

"But… how?" Her eyes, filled with sorrow, searched his. "After the abominable way I treated you in April, after all the ways I insulted you… how can you still… I do not find it possible that you would still…"

He took a strand of her hair between his fingertips to distract himself from her proximity. "You were right to accuse me of not being gentlemanly. Every mistake I made caused by my conceit, pride, and inability of understand _your_ feelings, _your_ desires, and _your_ will, it all proved my unworthiness. I did nothing to prove that I deserved you. Can I hope to be forgiven for my words?"

Nervous but determined, Elizabeth covered his knuckles with her palm. "If you can forgive me my misguided determination to believe the worst of you."

Heart bursting from his chest, he took a careful step forward. He couldn't resist touching the smooth, warm skin of her cheek. "You showed me the man I wanted to be, the man who might, if given some time, grow to be worthy of your love."

When she leaned into his touch, shutting her eyes, he resolved to spend the rest of his life working hard to deserve her.

"I was ready to give you up," he continued, now close enough to breathe against her forehead. "I was ready to see you be happy with another man, with someone more worthy of you. I was prepared to see you once a year and love you from afar while making sure you were taken care of. I was ready to lose you and see you have children with the man you loved."

She blinked once before their eyes locked and she pressed herself flush against him. Darcy bumped against his horse, who huffed loudly. She pressed her cheek against his chest, and Darcy wrapped his arms around her. Her curves, warmth, heartbeat—nothing had ever felt so sweet in his arms. Her scent overwhelmed him, and he lowered his head to brush his lips against her hair. Incredulous of having the opportunity to hold her in his arms, he started stroking the length of her spine. A low groan left his throat when she arched against him.

"Please, don't let me go," she whispered. "Don't give me up to anyone."

"Never."

He smiled, delirious with happiness and dazed by the soft curves against him. Slowly, he pulled away. He intended to treat her right, and having her pressed so tightly against him made him desire intimacy that had to wait. So, he pressed a kiss on the back of her hand before they started walking. He couldn't take his eyes off her shy smile and beautiful eyes.

"May I ask why the lady I intend to court stole my horse this fine morning?"

"You intend to court me?" She threw a playful glance at him. "I had hoped for a special licence."

Darcy took a breath to calm himself. "Please, Miss. I only have so much restraint."

"And why would you wish to go through the trouble of restraining yourself?"

Her teasing smile was covered by his chest as he threw caution to the wind and, once again, pressed her sweet, soft body against his. "Elizabeth," he whispered, his breath ghosting against her ear. "Have mercy."

She tilted her head back to see his eyes, and stroked the side of his jaw. "Do you wish to live a life that makes you happy or a life in which you seek approval of the society you so vehemently dislike?"

Incapable of tearing his eyes from hers, he paused.

"I wish to take you to theatre and show everyone how proud I am of the woman I intend to marry."

Smiling, she bit her lip. "Are you quite determined, sir?"

He pressed a soft kiss on top of her head and moved to keep walking. Her proximity tempted him to agree with her.

"You may ask anything your heart desires, but I very much wish to do right by you. Please, do not ask me for a special licence. I may not have the heart to refuse you."

"If that is what you desire."

"I do."

Pastel colours had covered the edge of the sky, and both admired the sight. Locking eyes with his beloved, Darcy felt like the weight of the world had been pulled from his shoulders. A man could be driven to insanity with so much love in his heart and so much hope for the future.

"I would like to ask you something, and I want you to know that your answer will decide the matter."

Elizabeth nodded.

"With your permission, I would like to suggest that your youngest sisters be sent to a private school or be given a governess. I do not mean to imply insult, but it has come to my attention—"

"Yes."

"—that one cannot expect… I'm sorry?"

"Yes." Elizabeth squeezed his elbow. "I am not eager to exploit your good will, but I find it hypocritical that good behaviour is expected from people who have not been exposed to good examples. If you will allow me to be selfish in accepting your offer, I would like to do so most gratefully."

He searched her eyes. "I mean not to offend your relations."

"Sir, I have spent too much time seeing bad intentions in your behaviour where none existed. You wounded me, I admit, by suggesting that my family was unsuitable for you, but what hurt me most was that I understood you. My father did not have the money to formally educate us, and I believe my sisters would benefit from the experience."

He sent her a relieved, grateful smile, lowering his head slightly. "Will you ever know how much I admire you?"

"I don't understand it. I spent most of our time together insulting you. How did you grow to love me?"

"You did not yield to anyone. You tease people who disillusion themselves with their superiority. You earned my respect and admiration, and before I knew it, my heart was full of you. I will spend the rest of my life proving my worthiness to you."

"You are a silly man then, Mr. Darcy, for I don't believe I deserve so much credit."

"I disagree," he replied. "Much more credit is due than I could hope to express, but I am a selfish creature and wish to have you all for myself to love."

She bit her lip, warmed by his words, and brushed her fingertips against Eos, who loyally stayed by her side.

"Will you continue to do so after I tell you that I wish to continue riding horses as men do?"

Although he had been shocked, their conversation had given him time to consider her peculiar but useful mastery of horse-riding.

"Would you agree to teach my sister how to ride astride a horse?"

Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise.

"Sir!"

He gazed at the horizon. "My sister has been in a situation where the skill would have proven highly useful. If she were to know how to ride the horse as you and I do, she would be at an advantage against—anyone wishing harm on her."

"Sir, I… of course." Elizabeth caressed the horse's mane, thinking. "You do not mind, then?"

"I am just as surprised to discover my feelings on the matter as you are, Miss Elizabeth. But I cannot deny I am still curious as to why I found you this morning with my horse."

"I will tell you if you promise me that the second person involved will not be punished for his actions."

Darcy, intrigued, searched her eyes and remembered her mention of Andrew.

"Has my stableboy done anything illegal or immoral?"

"Most certainly not."

"Then I promise no harm will come to him."

She squeezed Darcy's elbow against her chest as she walked, leaning slightly toward him, and he wondered if he'd ever be able to tear his eyes off of her.

"Andrew and I grew up together."

Feeling a twinge of jealousy, he cleared his throat.

"Your familiarity with my stableboy is unexpected, I must say."

"Growing up in the countryside encourages friendships frowned upon by society. Did you ever have friendships your parents would have discouraged, had they known about them?"

He could not argue.

"Andrew knows of my affection for horses, and remembers how frequently I found horses that had gone missing from his father's stable. Eos escaped yesterday night, and Andrew spent the day trying to find her in vain. Because he was wary of letting you know that your favourite horse had disappeared, he sent me a message yesterday evening, asking if I had any ideas about where to find the horse. He did not explicitly ask me to go find your mare, but I sneaked out after midnight, and succeeded in finding Eos about an hour before you arrived. I had every intention to bring her back to your stable, unharmed."

Darcy, amazed by how little he knew some aspects of her character, felt incredibly protective of her, sneaking out in the darkness.

"Elizabeth, do you know how dangerous that is? A single, unchaperoned lady sneaking out in the middle of the night?"

Lifting her chin, she held his gaze. "When do you think I get the opportunity to ride astride a horse? I certainly cannot do it in the middle of the day, now can I."

"Elizabeth…"

"I am careful, sir, and I hope that once you get to know me, you will see that I am a proficient rider."

"It is not your riding skills that I worry about," he admitted, halting to a stop when he faced her. "Elizabeth, please promise to wake me up if you feel the desire to go riding in the middle of the night."

She blushed. "You are speaking of a future you have not explicitly asked for, sir."

Blinking, Darcy realised that he had done it, yet again—he had assumed an answer to a question he had not even asked. Immediately, he fell on his knee and took her hand in his.

"Sir," she said, stifling a smile. "You must know me well enough to know my proclivity to tease. I do not require such grand gestures."

"Elizabeth." He pulled her closer. Instead of waiting for him to continue, she crouched in front of him and took his jaw in her hands.

"Yes," she whispered, grinning.

"I have not even—"

"Yes."

"Eliza—"

"Yes."

Her eyes sparkled when she nudged him to stand. Darcy cupped her jaw, drinking in her loose hair and soft lips. "I ask for no less than a lifetime."

"Yes."

She pressed herself flush against him as she ran her finger through his hair, whispering, "Fitzwilliam."

It was his given name on her lips that made him lose all sense of composure. His palms gripped her waist as he pulled her fully in his arms and pressed his mouth against hers. Soft, wet lips brushed against his as she gripped his neck, opening her mouth to him. She felt sweet and delicate in his arms, and her soft gasp against his mouth nearly undid him. He pressed tender kisses against her jaw and nose before he forced himself to withdraw. Her scent surrounded him.

"I want a dozen children," she said, breathless from his kisses and eyes filled with mirth.

"A dozen?" he repeated, wrapping her in his arms so tightly that her heartbeat raced against him.

"And a house full of love and laughter."

"Yes," he replied, kissing her hair softly, swaying with her. "Please." First rays of light covered the field, and Eos nudged Elizabeth's back, impatient to move or jealous of the attention. Resting his jaw against the top of Elizabeth's head, Darcy shut his eyes and stroked her lower back.

"I love you," he said. "But I have compromised you horribly tonight."

"I quite enjoyed it." Elizabeth hummed against his chest. "Should we make sure somebody sees us so that we are required to marry with a special licence?"

He groaned, shaking with silent laughter. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

Her twinkling eyes told him all he needed to know. Brushing hair away from her face, he said, "I must speak to your father."

She smiled, nodding in agreement and taking his hand in hers. "But first, how would you like to punish my relations for meddling in our business?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading my silliness! I'm thrilled that there are some P &P fans among my readers. Your comments are always appreciated, if you have two seconds. :) Hope you're having a wonderful day!


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